Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
