i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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