i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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