I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
