if only i could text you this smell
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
