apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
