Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
