It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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