God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.