I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
When did angry sex become our thing?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.