White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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