Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment