just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.