It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies