not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How external is "for external use only"?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...