Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
