god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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