I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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