I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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