Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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