Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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