he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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