Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
