That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
