I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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