Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
