SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
