I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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