I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just google imaged poop.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
