i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
