You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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