if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
