I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
this is an emotional support booty call
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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