WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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