How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
