Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
