how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
