Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize