She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
