apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
