i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
