I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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