I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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