Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
