he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
