I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize