I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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