She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Someone signed my nipple.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
