How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this beer tastes like vomit already
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
