the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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