He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
