this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
