Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I touched a dick in church today
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