ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
