We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
