either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
