HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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