Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
