Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
