we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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