i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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