i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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