he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize