oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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