Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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