what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
