sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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