Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if only i could text you this smell
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize